packrats
ginormous snakes
prickery things
tarantulas
sand burrs
heat that melts the chocolate in my house
militant paranoid neighbors
big cats
big bears
and last night…
I STEPPED ON A FUCKING SCORPION IN MY LIVINGROOM
no wonder my mother doesn’t want to come visit me
high desert darlin' 
Oh no! You probably gave him a big headache!!!
turns out I have no problem squashing scorpions under my heel!